


Beyond Good and Evil. (HIATUS)

by Cold_Breeze



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: #Thriller but not really, #You might enjoy it if you are a sad creature like me who likes to torture yourself, #angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-06-29 19:41:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19837198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cold_Breeze/pseuds/Cold_Breeze
Summary: -“Do you know why I babysit you?” Says Wonho, after yet, another silence.-Ha...that’s what you call it?-Yeah, because you and I are the same. Both of us are scum and we both know it.-Oh yeah?-You cannot imagine how many times I planned on leaving you.Hyungwon blankly looks at Wonho. He knows what the other one is talking about.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning! English is my third language, so please have some mercy and don't laugh too hard >:D
> 
> Since I am a sucker for sad stories I tried to make this one more tragic.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Open to constructive criticism, don't be shy to speak your mind.
> 
> Thanks for your time.

„It hurts, “ thinks Hyungwon. “It was foolish of me to think people change.”

He is sitting in a corner of a dimly lit bar, it is Tuesday night. The week just started but it is quite busy. Most of the customers are either friends or people who are looking for relationships with no strings attached. The idea of it made Hyungwon shiver, even tho he was considering it. It all depended on the quantity of alcohol in his blood. It only depended on that. He looked at his drink..it was Jack Daniels Honey and coke. He preferred wine but today he felt adventurous. He was looking outside the window when he noticed someone approaching the table. He frowned when he recognized the stranger.

-Minhyuk, what are you doing here and how have you found me?

He takes his hat off and puts it on a chair next to him. 

-You are more predictable than you might think, my dear friend. 

He waves at a waiter and asks to repeat the previous order twice. Hyungwon is looking at the half-melted ice inside his glass.

-Why did you come?

-I don’t want you to drink by yourself. I just wanted to check if you are alright.

Hyungwon snorts.

-Why wouldn’t I be alright?

-Do you want to talk about what happened between you and Wonho?

Hyungwon raises his gaze at him, lifting his eyebrow, eyes completely blank.

-Why do you think I want to talk about him? I’ll pass.

Minhyuk looks around to make sure no one is eavesdropping and then leans on the table, hands laced together. His eyes are clear and he is looking at Hyungwon who doesn’t show many reactions.

-You know, I believe there is a misunderstanding between you two. I think you should talk it out. 

Hyungwon takes the last sip of his drink, puts the glass aside and looks directly at his neighbor, eyes cold and unforgiving.

-You. If you came to talk about him I’d rather you left. You’re spoiling my mood. I mean it.

-No, you don’t.

Hyungwon narrows his eyes at Minhyuk. He looks at him for maybe 8 seconds and..

-You aren’t here because you wanted to see me. Someone sent you here. Who was it?

-Hyungwon...

-W-h-o w-a-s i-t?

-Jooheon.

He clicks his tongue.

-“He should mind his own business.” He says barely out loud.

-He is worried about you. All of us are.

These two sentences made Hyungwon cringe. He couldn’t stand them physically. He stands up and picks his jacket and glasses in 5 seconds, leans to whisper in Minhyuk’s ear while resting his hand on his shoulder..

-If I see you stalking me for such a petty reason once again, you can cross years of our friendship out, Lee Minhyuk. Don’t look for me before I contact you.  
He leaves Minhyuk in astral. He slowly watched Hyungwon throwing a 50 dollar bill at bartender and briskly slamming the door behind him. Minhyuk turned around and slowly sighed.

„Scary.“ The only thought that was crossing his mind.

~~~

Minhyuk throws his jacket on the sofa and soundly sits down. He was nervously running his fingers through his hair when he noticed Jooheon getting out of his room.

-Oh, hyung. You’re home.

-You were wrong. I shouldn’t have followed him. 

-“Did Hyungwon find out?” He asked as he was sitting down across Minhyuk.

-“Hyungwon left before my drink was served.” His eyes were wandering around. „It was a bad idea, I fucked up. He put our friendship on the line. He is pissed beyond himself. I am not showing my face in front of him for a while. It’s your fault, Joo…yours and Changchun’s. Shouldn’t have listened to you two.“ Minhyuk said as he stood up and was making his way toward the second floor.

Jooheon was sitting there paralyzed for a second before he shouted

-Minhyukki, I am sorry. I didn’t know he would feel attacked.

-“Yeah, I know.” He said before disappearing.

Jooheon swore under his breath.

~~~

Hyungwon was lying in his bed when someone quietly opened the door and started tiptoeing around the flat. Barrel of a gun was pointing at Changkyun when he entered the bedroom.

-Dude, what the hell! It’s too early for a fire.

Hyungwon sighed as he brushed his hair off the face.

-“What are you doing here at this ungodly hour?” He whispered.

-I was worried, your phone is out of reach.

-So? It is not the first time. Give me a break.

-I saw Joo, he was..

-…repenting on his sins?

-No…he is sulking.

Hyungwon laughed.

-He is still a cub. I am the one who should be sulking. 

-”Anyway”, he says while getting up. “I suppose you didn’t come to chat. I have coffee and bread for a change. Are you hungry?”

Changkyun raises his eyebrow while supporting himself against the wall.

-You aren’t going back to sleep? It’s only 4 a.m. You can rest for another two hours, I’ll wake you up.

-Nah, I am good.

-Alright, but yeah, I wanted to talk about some info I squeezed out of one of the cops yesterday. 

-Oh yeah? Let’s talk then, give me 5 to hop in the shower. 

Changkyun was munching greedily bread when Hyungwon got out of the bathroom; he had only his boxers on. 

-Oi, you look like you lost some weight.

-You don’t look good yourself. Are you that hungry? I can order something. They have good Thai around the corner, it’s 24/7. 

-Nah, it’s ok.

-You devoured half of the baguette without any spread. When was the last time you had a proper meal?

-Hyung!

-Don’t hyung me. Ish, both you and honey are the reason I will go grey before my time. I’ve been telling you for years. You should be studying at university or what kids do these days.

-You don’t belong here as well, hyung.

-It was my choice though.

-It wasn’t.

Hyungwon sighed.

-Whatever, babe. What did you find out?

-Right, it’s about your trip to Japan.

-What about it?

-You’ve been followed for a while.

-Do you mean that weakling that has been tailing me for the last couple of weeks?

-You aren’t the strongest type either. But no, I don’t think he will follow you outside the country. They plan to put a cop undercover.

-Oh, how generous of them. I have a babysitter of my own. Who is it?

-That’s the problem. You won’t be happy about it.

-W-h-o i-s i-t?

-Wonho.

-“Jesus Christ.” He sinks into the chair and covers his face as he sighs.

-Tell your informatory that unless he wants a bullet in his boy’s forehead he better call him off. 

-Richard was supposed to come but he got injured, they don’t have a choice.

\- If he is able to walk on his two and not dying of pain let him. I don’t need anyone. They need it for pretense anyway. Call Richard.

-I tried, Wonho refused. 

-That piece of shit, he knows he is a goner next time I see him.

-He saved your ass, Hyungwon.

-“Stay out of it, babe.” Hyungwon glared at him. “I am not in the mood for your philosophical preaching.”

Changkyun rolled his eyes.

-“Anyway, that’s the tea. I had to tell you before you meet him.” His gaze is on Hyungwon who is staring at one spot, his eyes are blank. He wishes he could show some emotions.

~~~

Knock at the door.

Jooheon lazily goes to open the door. He was in the middle of yawning but in the end, it turned into gasping.

-Hyungwon-ah!

He soundlessly walks in without saying a word; he slightly nods at Jooheon and quickly closes the door behind him.

-Why did you knock? You have a key.

-It’s not my home to be walking in and out as I please. Now, is Shownu in?

-“But it is,” said Jooheon, he looks disappointed. 

Hyungwon flops on the couch while having a steady eye contact with Jooheon who is from time to time looks to the right and back at Hyungwon.

-..about the other day.

-What about it?

-I wanted to apologize.

-Good, you understand.

-But..

-No buts. Let’s just stop there. I asked you if Shownu was in.

-Ahh..yeah, he is upstairs.

Hyungwon was thinking about something when Jooheon sat in front of him and touched him by the shoulder. He jerked off in surprise.

-Sorry, I didn’t want to scare you.

-Ahh no..wait, hold on. Give me a second. Come here, sit next to me. 

Jooheon is perplexed, he silently stands up and sits next to Hyungwon. His eyes are darting around the room. He sank his face into his hands and started rubbing his eyes hard. Jooheon is looking at him and doesn’t understand what’s going on.

-Hyungwon are you ok? You’re scaring me..

He loudly sighed and slapped himself.

-Phew...I feel better. So yeah, where we were at? 

-Are you alright?

-Yeah, don’t worry…just a little tired.

-You’ve changed.

-Oh yeah? Hyungwon narrowed his eyes on Jooheon but then smiled briskly.

-I am just a dead man, zagiya. 

-Huh?

-I’ll go talk to Shownu.

Hyungwon slowly motioned upstairs while Jooheon was left puzzled on the couch.

~~~

Hyungwon knocks twice and slowly pokes his head in.

-Hey, do you mind?

-Hyungwon-ah, long time no see. Come in. What brings you here? 

-I need a favor.

-What is it?

-I need you to find someone who will get me a list of things upon my arrival in Japan.

-Which is?

-Sniper rifle and a gun.

Shownu raised his eyebrow. 

-What for?

-Job.

-What kind of job? I am not aware of it. Last time I checked you weren’t supposed to get rid of anyone in Japan.

-Yeah, it might change though. So? Will you?

-Ssure...it’s not the issue. Hyungwon, you are playing with fire.

-“Fire you say?” Hyungwon laughed under his breath as he turned to look at Shownu.

\- It will be handled before you leave, don’t worry. Are you staying for dinner?

-Nah, I am leaving.

-You should stay, Minhyuk will be happy. And I do believe it was rush of you to move out, maybe you should think about it once again when you come back.

-I am more productive on my own. Don’t worry. Better také care of kids. They don’t look their best. 

Shownu scratched his head.

-I know what you are implying, I will.

-Tell me if it is too much for you, I will try to find someone who can teach them some common sense.

-Why don’t you do that yourself?

-Because Evil doesn’t know any better.

-Hyungwon…

-But hey, I appreciate your help. I got to go.

He slowly stood up and fixed his pants. Shownu was slowly watching him as he silently nodded with a shy smile and left, closing the door behind him.

“He was there but at the same time he was not.” thought Shownu.

~~~

-“Hun”, Hyungwon called out but no one responded.

Jooheon was sitting by the kitchen table typing something, headphones on.

-“Hun”, he tapped on his shoulder. Joo took the headphones off and asked

-You done? That was fast.

-Yeah, it wasn’t anything big.

-You should stay for dinner. Minhyuk is going to cook something good.

-Sorry, I need to go back and pack. My flight is early in the morning.

-Hyungwon, are you sure you don’t want any of us to accompany you? You might need a hand, me or IM can come with you.

-It’s alright, it is my business. You should worry about yourself.

~~~

Hyungwon landed in Tokyo Airport at 7:45 a.m., without any delay he bought a current sim card, called the hotel he booked for three nights to cancel his reservation. He didn’t mind it was not refundable. He took a taxi to Shibuya, had early lunch and shopped for a bit. Hyungwon walked in circles for a while before he turned into a deserted alley, he stopped in the middle and hid behind the rubbish bin before he ambushed Wonho. He pushed him by the wall, small souvenir knife he bought earlier by, was pushed to his throat.

-“I warned you, next time I see you, you are a goner.” Hyungwon looks straight into Wonho’s eyes; their distance is almost nonexistent. 

-“I warned you”, he repeated hardly audible.

Wonho was taken aback but didn’t show it.

-“I thought you calmed down. Let me go, Hyungwon.” He pronounced as he slightly smiled.

-“I’ll repeat myself. I warned you.” His eyes are cold as he pushes the knife harder and a couple of drops of blood go down Wonho’s neck.

-Do you want me dead? Go ahead, I won’t show resistance.

They look at each other for a minute and in the end, Hyungwon swiftly releases his hand to swear under his breath to his left before he hits the wall right next to Wonho’s face.

-“I don’t ever want to see you again. What part of it you didn’t understand? What part of your body should I break before you understand? Why did you follow me here?” He was leaning closer and closer. 

\- “You, disgusting murderer.” Hyungwon is staring at Wonho until the other one turns away.

-You are my priority; I couldn’t have let you die.

\- That’s what you were supposed to do. Aren’t you a cop? You dirty motherfucker, how do you sleep at night?

-As long as you are ok pretty well.

-Cut the crap. If you cared you wouldn’t let Kihyun die.

-He went astray on extremely dangerous, deviant path. 

Hyungwon snorts.

-Funny, considering the fact I am one of them. Why didn’t you shoot both of us? Hold up, don’t answer, I know.

Hyungwon leans over, the distance between them is so close he sees Wonho literally crossing his eyes on Hyungwon.

-“You have feelings for me. That’s why you let me live.” He pokes his finger at Wonho’s chest. “I wonder what your department is talking behind your back. Cop that let his deviant “lover” live, tragic.”

-“Shut it.” Wonho hisses through his teeth. “You’re different; you’re part of the system.”

-Would you if I was not?

-“I don’t know” whispers Wonho.

-Right, proves my point.

-You don’t understand, Hyungwon. You don’t know what he got himself into. You would understand me.

-The fact he was supposed to get rid of me? 

-“You knew?” Wonho looks up surprised.

-I wasn’t born yesterday. Who do you take me for?

-Then…why are you angry with me?

-Because you killed the only friend I had. If you were to do the righteous thing you would kill us both. Your feelings are always on the way. Your weak ass makes me sick. 

-It’s fine. As long as you’re fine.

-I want you to disappear before my bullet ends in that small black heart of yours. Do yourself a favor and scram.

Hyungwon lets go, swiftly turns around and leaves. Wonho watches him for a second and then audibly enough says.

-You know me. I will never let you be.

Hyungwon stops and stays still for a moment before taking the knife on the way while approaching Wonho yet again.

-Well, I did warn you.

He tries to stab Wonho in the shoulder but before he can do so Wonho grabs his right arm, twists it in an unnatural way resulting popping it out of the socket and injects something in the neck.

-“You psycho.” The only thing Hyungwon could say before passing out.

Wonho takes out a phone and orders to bring a car. As soon as the call is ended he loudly sighs, Hyungwon in his arms. He pushes the other one’s hair back and slowly sits on the ground. 

-Who’s that?

-No questions, just take me home.

-I parked behind the corner. It is busy though.

-Whatever.

-Ok, follow me.

Hyungwon wakes up when it is already night. His shoulder hurts and his head is killing him.

-“What the fuck.” He swears audibly. He searches his pockets but they are completely empty. He stands up and opens the bedroom door with a bang. Wonho is sitting on the couch reading a newspaper. Hyungwon stares for a second before he could say something the other breaks the silence.

-You’re awake.

-I’m going to kill you for real. What the hell did you do?!

-I had to stop you before the inevitable.

-You sick homo. You crossed all the boundaries.

Wonho chuckles but his expression is miserable.

-Aren’t you the same?

-I don’t remember being a mental abductor.

-Oh, didn’t you do the same thing to me?

-It was different and a lie.

-Oh, Right. Sit down, I bet you’re hungry. I’ll order something, what would you like?

\- “I hate you.” Says Hyungwon audibly enough for Wonho to hear.

-Yeah, I know. I hate myself as well; it’s a little game I play every day. How much can I hate myself today?

-Good. 

-And I do love you. 

Comes a fast continuation while he half turned towards Hyungwon. There was no response, instead, Hyungwon heads towards the kitchen, going through all the drawers. 

-You won’t find anything there.

-So what now? You gonna torture me, rape me? He said while giving a cold, feeling less laugh out.

-“I hate you.” Whispers Wonho.

-“Make up your mind at last.” Says Hyungwon while quickly moving towards Wonho, the other one didn’t budge. He stopped right behind him.

-“If you’re going to do it, do it fast.” Whispers Wonho, tilting his head back locking his eyes with Hyungwon’s.

They are quietly looking at each other until Hyungwon sighs and pushes his hair back.

-You’re useless.

Wonho’s heart tightens and he would like to say something but the words just wouldn’t come out.

-“You’re useless,” Hyungwon repeats while starting choking Wonho with all he’s got. He presses until his face reddens and he knows he will pass out unless he shows resistance.

-“Useless and spineless,” Hyungwon utters while letting his throat go, watching him taking greedy gulps of air while sitting down opposite to Wonho.  
They stay quiet for a while. Hyungwon openly stares but it is not mutual.

-“You know”, Wonho breaks the silence while looking somewhere aimlessly “I would like to fix everything if I could.”

-Too late.

-It’s not.

-I want a drink. Your face makes me nauseous.

-You used to like it.

-It was before your hobby changed to murdering my friends.

-Hyungw..

-Get me a fuckin’ drink before I finish what I started.

Wonho sighed. 

-Upper drawer. There is both gin and whiskey. Pick whatever.

~~~

-“You,” Hyungwon utters after at least three gin & tonics in silence. “What do you want from me?”

-“What do you mean”, he says without turning his head.

-Look me in the eye if you’re talking to me, damn it. I hate that habit of yours.

-“What does it change if I do so?” Wonho slowly pronounces before turning to look at Hyungwon.

-A lot.

-Which is?

-“Whatever, answer my question.” He says while eyeing Wonho.

Wonho’s gaze is glassy and distant. You can say there is something going on behind them but it is hard to say what.

-Hyungwon, I know you for way too long. Why do you torture me? You know I have no one but you. Make up your mind. End this game, I am tired.  
Hyungwon silently snorts.

-Government’s pup is depressed, huh?

Wonho looks at him. “Pity” Hyungwon can read in his eyes.

-“Stop looking at me like that.” Hisses Hyungwon.

-How do you want me to look at you then?

-“Anything but pity, I can read it in your eyes.” Says Hyungwon bitterly.

-You’re wrong.

-Am I? You’ve been a sad creature ever since I’ve met you. An ugly sight, you know.

-Shut it, Hyungwon. You tend to be very mean.

-Oh? He exclaims while finishing his drink in one gulp. “You don’t know, maybe it’s in my nature.”

-I wouldn’t be here if it was the case.

Hyungwon looks at Wonho, his eyes are stern. He is about to say something but Wonho interrupts him

-Yeah, I am wrong blah blah blah. Make me a drink, will you?

Hyungwon is surprised by this reaction.

-Make it yourself.

-As far as I remember, you have some etiquette. I am your hyung. Do it.

-You’re nothing but a pain in the ass but since I will get myself another one…

-Whatever.

-“Do you know why I babysit you?” Says Wonho, after yet, another silence.

-Ha...that’s what you call it?

-Yeah, because you and I are the same. Both of us are scum and we both know it.

-Oh yeah? 

-You cannot imagine how many times I planned on leaving you.

Hyungwon blankly looks at Wonho. He knows what the other one is talking about.

-Why? He asked before the other one could say anything.

-Because if any of us dies the other one will follow. 

-Oh yeah? You think I will follow you or the other way around, aren’t you one lonely romantic? 

-You’re already a dead man though, Hyungwon.

-And what about you?

-No better. Actually, I am even worse.

-That’s why you’re useless. If you were planning to hang on me you had to change your priorities. It’s too late though.

-Yeah, how can I forget you? Asks Wonho, turning to look at Hyungwon. “I don’t know why I still care. This is what bothers me.”

-You make me a scapegoat of your shallowness.

-Yeah, that’s exactly it. Stop being a bitch otherwise, I might as well finally ditch you.

Hyungwon is surprised but doesn’t show it, Wonho continues.

-Oh, do you think I will spend the rest of my shallow life following you like an abandoned dog that still looks after his owner?

-I don’t care, do whatever you want. I want you gone.

-“Liar.” Sighs Wonho. “Such a fucking liar.”

-Shut it.  
Wonho quietly approaches Hyungwon. He pulls him by the hand, no resistance shown. Makes him stand up and pushes Hyungwon against the wall. 

-“You know”, Wonho says while switching his gaze between eyes and lips. “I would be a long time gone if you didn’t care for me this much.” 

-Are you drunk or did you finally lose it? 

-Shh

Wonho traces Hyungwons fingers, hand, arm and forearm before moving up the neck and jaw line. His eyes are crossed on his lips.

-“Stop it.” Whispers Hyungwon. “You will regret it.”

\- “Make me.” Says Wonho, before kissing Hyungwon.

Hyungwon is standing still while calculating all the possible outcomes of this situation; his eyes are wide open on Wonho’s eyelashes.

-“I hate you.” He thinks to himself before grabbing Wonho by the nape of his neck grabbing intensely towards his own body dominating the kiss, making it sloppy and greedy. He lowers down to meet Wonhos height and pushes his right knee between his legs. His left hand supporting Wonho’s neck, while the right one going down his broad, muscular back.

\- “You bitch.” Hyungwon manages to say before pushing Wonho towards the coach. Wonho crashes on it with a bang, eyes clear and open-minded. Hyungwon takes his jacket off without turning his gaze away.

-“You asked for it.” Hyungwon whispers.

-“You didn’t reject me.” Whispers Wonho back.

-“I fuckin’ despise you.” Says Hyungwon, before crashing onto Wonho, kissing him passionately.

This time Wonho looks at Hyungwon’s long eyelashes before forgetting about everything. Wonho remembers Hyungwon was always a kisser; he could spend hours doing so before the actual thing. He runs his hand down Hyungwon’s back. Hyungwon puts his right hand on the armrest while the second one pushing on Wonho’s chest, tracing towards the neck and back to his waist. He leads him to sit up, turning by the back of the couch taking Wonho’s shirt off on the way. Moments later Wonho pulls away and quietly asks whether he wants him to suck Hyungwon off while biting his ear. Hyungwon comes into sense by this phrase.

-“N-no...I think we should stop here.” His look is bewildered and pupils run across the room.

Wonho is taken aback by the rejection but instead of saying anything he just pulls Hyungwon closer and whispers into his ear

-I want you, stop thinking.

Hyungwon shudders at the words but it takes him good 20 seconds before taking any action. 

~~~

Wonho wakes up when the clock shows 2 p.m. His back is sore and his heart is broken first thing in the morning because he knows Hyungwon will be nowhere to be found. He wasn’t sure if he is still in Japan. He is beyond surprised to see him by the table sipping coffee. 

As soon as he notices Wonho he puts the cup on the table and squints his eyes on Wonho. “How did you sleep?” Wonho wanted to ask but Hyungwon outran him…

-“Here” as he moves his eyes on a piece of paper on the table. “You dislocated my shoulder; you have to finish it on my behalf”

-No.

-It wasn’t a question.

Hyungwon blankly stares at Wonho until the other turns his gaze away.

-What’s gotten into you? 

-That’s what I would like to know. I never thought you were such a rat. Not that I am surprised but you have dug up my whole biography. I am impressed.

-“Shit.” Wonho swore under his breath. “It’s not what you think.”

\- Is it? How long you had to snoop around to get that stack, huh? What do you need it for? You cannot blackmail me with my past.

-Hyungwon, listen to me.

Hyungwon stands up and zooms on Wonho, his eyes are completely blank and seem have gotten a shade darker.

-“Never, I repeat never call my name again. It makes me want to puke. If you cannot do the job, tell one of your gorillas to take care of it. It’s your fault I cannot hold a gun right now. This is the last warning, don’t ever come looking for me. Whatever we had to this moment…even this thread is broken. The pup is finally free, “Woof”.” He finishes never looking away. 

As soon as he was done talking his gaze fell on his shoes and he slowly made a u-turn. He picks his jacket and silently starts off. 

Wonho catches him by the arm but Hyungwon shakes it off. He tries once again, this time Hyungwon turns around and pushes him by the wall with a bang. 

\- The game’s over, Lee Hoseok. This is the last round, you won. You’re free. However, I can make you a cripple, you won’t be able to walk on your own, is that what you want?

-You won’t be able to. You cannot.

\- “Both of us know I am the merciless one here, I am the one who is not afraid to die...you, on the other hand…” Hyungwon was looking straight at Wonho, he wanted to see the fear in his eyes but there was nothing of that kind. There was a different mix of feelings. He hates it.

-Is it because you think I am not able to do it or you just put too much trust in me? I tried hard to reason you, excuse you but…

Wonho looks at now darker than black Hyungwon’s eyes. He doesn’t see anger or anything of that sort. What he finds there is “despair.” His soul is lonely and he is the cause of it.

-“Stop looking at me like that.” Hisses Hyungwon before hitting him right in the face. The blow makes Wonho lean down the wall. 

-“Let me explain.” Says Wonho, wiping the blood, his lip is cut rather badly.

Hyungwon was looking down on Wonho for a minute then he squats in front of him.

-“I am sorry; this is the maximum I can take. No more.” Hyungwon cups Wonho’s face. He tries to smile while silently wiping blood but Wonho sees that the situation makes him physically uncomfortable. 

\- You took everything from me, Lee Hoseok. I hope it was worth it. 

He lets his face and turns towards the exit.

-What’s gotten into you? Let me explain. You know there is a reason behind it.

Hyungwon turned halfway around and uttered “I don’t care anymore, for better or worse. I always thought of you as my remedy, but you’re the poison, Lee Hoseok. My soul was taken by you, you utterly crushed it. You took everyone away I ever cared for, you took the only thing that cannot be taken away and turned me into pure evil.”

As soon as the door is shut from the outside Wonho starts yelling “Fine, great, run away. Who the hell would want to be by your side, you never listen. Rot in hell.” “You will be the one looking for me next time.” Hyungwon didn’t bother to stay and to listen to what Wonho was saying…his voice trailed away after “Run away.”

Wonho hit the wall with a knuckle and slowly came down by the wall and slowly spread his body on the floor in a star shape…he didn’t know what to do, a single tear fell down his cheek.

~~~

As soon as Hyungwon arrived in Seoul he returned to his apartment and packed one big suitcase, all the cash that was stacked in different parts of the flat and a gun that was lying in a safe.

-“Do I actually need all of it? Cash would be more than enough..” muttered Hyungwon. 

He arrived at the apartment where Shownu and the rest were living. Surprisingly everyone was at home which made Hyungwon both relieved and terrified.

-“Yo, we need to talk.” Says Hyungwon, half smiling at Minhyuk who was obviously surprised to see Hyungwon in front of the door.

-Sure, I didn’t think you will be this fast. You didn’t stop by home? What’s with the luggage?

-Actually, I did. Umm...we need to talk.

-Yes, yes. Picked up Minhyuk, shouting everyone’s name to get down.

Changkyun and Jooheon didn’t look their best, they were drowsy. Hyungwon knew they were loudly sleeping just seconds ago. He became a little wary of Shownu who was stepping down the stairs and his face obviously was letting it out, he knew something was off. Minhyuk was standing by the couch and nervously biting his nails.

-What is it? Says Shownu.

-I am leaving.

-Where to?

-Just leaving, I am not coming back.

Both IM & Joo gasped at it while Minhyuk’s jaw just silently made the biggest “O”.

-Where to?

-I cannot tell you.

-“What do you mean you cann..” Minhyuk couldn’t even finish what he was going to say before Shownu shunned him.

-Are you abandoning us? 

-I am just going my own way.

\- Are we a joke to you? Have you ever thought of us as a family? At least one of us...at least one of has a special place in the heart of yours?

-Hey, you know all of you are special to me.

-I don’t think so, your selfishness is proof of it.

Shownu gets closer to Hyungwon...his eyes are fixated on Hyungwon. He doesn’t know what he is feeling at the moment. He wants to punch Hyungwon and tear that faint smile off his face that he has had since he approached him. What he did tho...sighed and said, “Do whatever you want.” And loudly left the flat with a bang.

Hyungwon turned to look outside the window. The room was still for a good minute.

Changkyun was first to break the silence.

-I am coming with you.

Hyungwon, Jooheon and Minhyuk looked at him with surprise.

-No

-Why not?

-You don’t care anyway about your surroundings. I am not that much of a hustle.

-Because I will not let you waste your life on me.

-I want to be near you.

-I know, but Changkyun, this is goodbye. I am not going to see any of you ever again. 

Hyungwon turned to look at all three of them, standing there in utter shock.

-I am sorry I am doing this to you. I really am, but this is the turning point for all of us.

-“You cannot.” Said Minhyuk, approaching Hyungwon.

He took him by the collar of his jacket, Hyungwon briefly looked into Minhyuk’s eyes but turned to look outside the window, yet again.

-Hey, look at me Chae Hyungwon. This is the moment to look at me.

Hyungwon sighed and turned his gaze back at Minhyuk. His eyes were glassy.

-Don’t cry, Min.

-How do you even call yourself a human, there is nothing humane about you!

-“I know, I am sorry.” He kept on repeating while patting Minhyuk’s back while the other guy was crying. Jooheon joined them seconds after. He motioned towards Changkyun, who was standing alone in the kitchen doors, eyes wild.

-“No..no” he started to retrieve towards the door. “No, you cannot do this, I will never forgive you.” He shouted before running outside the doors.

-“You need to stop him,” said Minhyuk.

-No, it’s for the better.

-Hyung, why are you doing this to us?

-…

-Do we really matter this little to you? Was Shownu hyung right?

Hyungwon felt a pang in his heart, it started to ache, it felt as if needles were pricking it, millions of them.

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how I feel about this chapter. I feel I messed up grammar pretty bad so I do apologize in advance.
> 
> Initially, I wanted to make a story solely about members, but in the process of writing, I had to use a couple of other names so yeah...Cha Eunwoo from Astro & Sungjoo from UNIQ.
> 
> Thanks for your time.

Hyungwon landed in Sheremetyevo, Moscow late at night. It was his second time in the city and he was thinking of spending a couple of days enjoying what people call “tourism” before heading towards his next destination. His happiness wasn’t long. While he was having a cup of coffee he noticed an Asian guy fidgeting and peeking at him from time to time.

-“Damn it”, he thought. Hyungwon was sure he had at least a week until all the cops and FBI would start looking for him. The news put him in a rather foul mood. “Sorry, Mr, I don’t know who you are but you are a nuisance”, he thought while picking his stuff and heading towards the toilet.

He pushed a stranger to the wall as soon as he saw him enter.

-Who are you?

-I am just an observer, Mr. Chae. Your actions are not authorized. I am not here to harm you.

-“Sorry, buddy but you weren’t part of my plan”, he said while knocking him down with an elbow. “Good night.”

Hyungwon left the airport in a rush taking a taxi towards…he wasn’t sure where. His plan was ruined and it was dangerous to stay in the city, he knew the spy might be alone but he is not the only one out there. There will be more in no time.

To his surprise, the taxi driver did speak some decent English. The first time he visited Moscow, he didn’t have the best impression. People were way too different in means of culture and the fact that the majority couldn't speak English didn’t help him. He knew he had to take this opportunity at all costs.

-Mr, did you decide where you’re headed? We are almost in the center.

-I have a question.

-Yes?

-How much do you want for taking me to St. Petersburg?

The driver was shocked by the proposal; he looked at the rear-view mirror to watch Hyungwon. He blinked at him at least three times before looking at the front.

-I am sorry, Mr but it’s something I am not able to do.

-“I will double the sum that crossed your mind”, Hyungwon squinted his eyes on the driver.

After a long and nerve-wracking silence the driver finally spoke

-You do realize it is at least an 8-hour trip?

-Yes

-And you cannot book the nearest flight?

-No

-Are you going to bring troubles upon me?

-No, you don’t have to worry about.

The driver glanced at Hyungwon once again.

-Alright, I will take you there. 

~~~

The ride wasn’t the best thing that happened to him but he was glad it was over and appreciated the fact the guy was a rather furious driver, they got there faster than he excepted but what he didn’t know was that the road would be so bumpy; his ass was low-key throbbing when he was settling up the payment. 

-“Thank you for the ride, I really appreciate it. I would ask you for a brunch but I am in a hurry”, blurted Hyungwon while slowly yawning.

-“No problem, thanks for the tips”, the driver winked and waved with his left hand as he was pulling away.

Hyungwon didn’t get any suspicious vibes from the person but something about him was unsettling. He really hoped he is just a stranger, not any kind of undercover rat. The idea of changing his plans again would make him irritable. He scratched the back of his head and harshly sighed, “Well, let’s hope it was my imagination”. He stopped by the deserted bakery shop and had lunch. He was contemplating about means of communication to his next destination. He was heading to Inari, Finland. If he wanted to go by car it would be a hell of a ride, the destination is twice as long as a previous one and he was already pretty exhausted. He has been traveling for more than 24 hours but hasn’t had a wink of sleep or shower.

Hyungwon decided to go by plane in the end, four and a half hours sounded more reasonable. He booked the flight for that same days’ evening. Afterward, he checked in a five-star hotel. He knew it is better to be safe than sorry, no one would think Hyungwon would be in one of the most expensive hotels in the city. Even if cops find out he was there it would be too late. He booked it for two nights, using an ID he was very reluctant to bring to light but he had no choice. Another and rather prominent reason is that Changkyun was the one who made it for him. He knew he had to get rid of it sooner or later. He couldn’t allow being found. 

He took a long hot bath and had good four hours of sleep. He made sure to avoid all of the cameras he could before taking the taxi parked nearby the hotel to the airport. 

He landed in Ivalon lentoseama at half past three. It was deserted, and the airport was much smaller than he anticipated. It was late at night, way behind and too early for visiting hours but he was reluctant to stay under the light of cameras for too long so after a little bit of thinking he headed towards the address he gave the driver written on an old piece of paper.

It was a beautiful two floors house in the middle of the woods. As soon as Hyungwon started to come closer towards the building an Akita puppy started barking. He could see it running back and forth on the first floor, the lights turned on and he could see a silhouette poking his head through a small gap. He stayed still before recognizing Hyungwon who was steadily heading towards the door.

-“Look who is here, if it is not the handsome Chae Hyungwon”, exclaimed Eunwoo opening the door wide and walking briskly towards Hyungwon.

-“Aren’t you one handsome lad yourself?!” winked Hyungwon as he hugged his friend tightly.

-What brings you here? You haven’t called me for a long time. I started to worry at some point.

-Sorry, I had...umm some issues. I hope you don’t mind I came without notice but it was rather urgent. I hope you won’t mind if I crash at your place for a week, maximum two.

-Of course not! I wouldn’t let you go after a couple of days anyway. But I need to warn you, we aren’t alone. 

-“What do you mean?” Hyungwon had a mini heart attack and was thinking of every nasty surprise that may await him.

-I got married last year.

-You what?

-And I have a five month old daughter.

Hyungwon didn’t suppress his truly astonished face. 

-“I haven’t seen you for three years and you got yourself a wife, kid and a dog? Aren’t you too fast?”, Hyungwon laughed out loud.

-Sorry, I wanted to let you know but we kind of stopped talking for a while so I thought I should wait for a better opportunity.

-What’s her name, no, their names?

-“Tuuli, my daughter’s name is Kaija and this is Sasu”, he pointed at the dog that was after it's own tail not too far from them.

-You will love them, now come on in.

Hyungwon felt something inside him stirring his feelings. He wasn’t able to identify them. 

~~~

As soon as Wonho came back to Seoul he didn’t feel good. He could swear it was the food he had on the plane.

-“What the hell do they put in there?!” he thought to himself. He decided to stay away from anything containing fish from now on unless it was a business class. 

Due to discomfort, he decided to take a couple of days off. He was watching a stupid TV show when someone knocked on the door. 

He got off the couch and without checking who it actually is slightly opened the door. Shownu was standing in front of him, frowning. Wonho could tell he is not in the mood.

-Well, well, well if it is not an Asian Black Bear. Haven’t seen you in a while, how may I help you, Shownu-ssi? 

-“Oh cut the crap”, he mouthed while walking inside and taking a seat. 

Wonho sighed and slowly moved towards the kitchen. 

-Do you want a beer?

-I’ll pass, I am here to neither reminisce on our past nor make friends.

Wonho sighed once again.

-Fine, what do you want? It’s not that I want to see you either.

Shownu turned around to eye Wonho, he slightly bit the lower lip and turned to his original position.

-Hyungwon.

-“I don’t know what you are talking about. He left before me and honestly I am done playing with him. You can keep him”, said irritably Wonho. 

The emptiness he felt filling his body after Hyungwon leaving turned into apathy and a mild level of irritation a little bit later. He started considering whether he is worth it. Wonho was positive in the realness of his own feelings, the only thing he wasn’t sure about what was the point of them. He decided to put him in a back drawer of his mind for now.

Shownu glared at Wonho.

-“Don’t you feel at least a little bit responsible for him? Look just what you have made him do. How do you sleep at night, knowing you low-key turned him into a killing machine?” uttered Shownu looking straight at Wonho.

-“Here it comes”, thinks Wonho. “I’ve heard it somewhere before. Do they share a single mind in that gang or is it that they have only one vocabulary?!” he was wondering to himself. The situation started to get on his nerves.

-Sorry, dad, but he has his own head on the shoulders and I really am not in the mood for this kind of talk. You should look for someone else considering this topic. I am done with him.

Shownu raised his left eyebrow.

-Done?

-Yeah, don’t know what you want but if it’s about him it is none of my business.

Shownu sighed and tightly closed his eyes while massaging his bridge of the nose.

-To be fair, I was never a big fan of yours but because Hyungwon chose you I trusted his choice. We even got along. Nevertheless, I regret I let him listen to his heart. He made a deadly mistake.

-“Are you trying to make me feel bad or something, Shownu-ssi?”, he asked tilting his head to the right.

-“Bastard, I knew it was pointless coming here, oh well, thanks for nothing I guess”, Shownu stood up and stomped out the flat with a loud bang of the door behind him.

-“What the hell”, thought Shownu.

-“That dude is the cause of my headache now, what an ass”, thought Wonho.

Shownu came back in a foul mood. Minhyuk and Jooheon were watching sniveling movies when he stormed through the living room without saying a word. To his surprise, he found Changkyun in his room.

-What are you doing?

-Sorry, hyung, your computer is more powerful than my laptop.

-Do you need some help with something?

-“Oh no”, he closed all the tabs in a rush and quickly left the room giving a sheepish smile. He knew he wouldn’t get angry when the youngest behaving so cunningly.

-“Next time just ask, it’s not that I mind”, he yelled to IM who was running downstairs.

He closed the door and sank in the chair; he was spinning for a while when something crossed his mind. He restored the history; he was curious what Changkyun was looking for. He was perplexed.

-“He was tracking down Hyungwon”, he thought. “He doesn’t know where he is at the moment though”, was the second thought running through his mind.

\- “Where are you, Hyungwon?” he questioned himself while looking at the ceiling.

~~~

-“By the way, Eunwoo, I need to let you know,” Hyungwon said slowly while they were having dinner downtown.

-“I don’t think you know but Kihyun died,” he said nearly inaudible “around seven months ago”.

-What? How did it happen?

-Long story short he got himself into something that was too much for him to handle.

-Damn it, he was a good guy.

-Yeah, he was.

-Who was it? Did you pay in the same coin?

-“About that, Wonho shot him” Hyungwon visibly cringed.

-Do you mean Hoseok, your guy?

-Ex, we broke up a long time ago.

-“Well, shit.” Eunwoo exhaled a lungful breath and frowned.

-I am sorry to hear that, Hyungwon. I really am. You must be really conflicted.

-Yeah, maybe. Do you think I was wrong?

-What do you mean?

-I couldn’t get back at him.

-Do you want to?

-Yes

-“I don’t think so, Hyungwon”, Eunwoo softly said. “You are a peaceful and logical man. You did change over the years but I would never believe you going after your ex’s head just like that. Unfortunately, even if you do it, it won’t return Kihyun. It will leave an ugly mark on your soul though. Let it go, buddy. Let’s go to a bar and let your fixated idea fade away once and for all. You have to try Finnish booze, this nation is pretty impressive, they have this drink based on gin and they call it a hangover drink, can you imagine…?” 

Eunwoo was speaking eagerly for a long time that night. Hyungwon, on the other hand, seemed to be somewhere far away.

That night he was dreaming of Kihyun. Hyungwon kept on apologizing without remembering the reason. All Kihyun did though was sadly smiling back at him and pointing that he should be the one to do so. The dream itself wasn’t a nightmare; nonetheless, it woke Hyungwon up in the middle of the night with a start, breathing uneven and cold sweat over his palms. It was the first time he ever dreamed of him. 

~~~

It was 8:52 when Wonho entered Seoul Mapo Police Station, he was sleep-deprived and as a result moody.

-“Wonho”, called someone from behind.

-Oh, Sungjoo! What’s up?

-We need to talk, come with me.

-Do you know something about Hyungwon’s whereabouts?

“Am I missing something or I am being punished?” thinks Wonho while frowning after hearing the question. The situation is disgustingly familiar.

-Sungjoo, you do know damn well how it turned out in Tokyo. Can you let me be and dive in my self-pity for now?

Sungjoo looked at Wonho who didn’t look very sad though. He looked more annoyed than anything.

-“Alright, I get it and I am sorry for prying into your private business but first of all I am your boss, so show some respect. Second of all, Hyungwon is one of my good friends and third of all he is missing and he knocked out one of the agents in Moscow. So now, put yourself together and think whether you might have an idea where he can be. I know for a fact something did happen. It’s been two weeks, he can be charged for treason, I won’t even mention the fact he is not even a cop but a pawn and a hitman of FBI you made him into.” Sungjoo shoot so fast it took Wonho a second to digest everything.

-“No, sorry, I don’t know where he might be. The last time I saw him he was bidding his Goodbye, I didn’t believe him. Well, you know how bumpy our relationship has been lately,” he said tracing his thumb over the lower lip. “So that’s why Shownu stopped by”, his eyes got bigger in realization.  
Sungjoo was staring at Wonho, frustrated. He didn’t like the idea of Hyungwon disappearing. He liked Wonho but he never got to understand what Hyungwon found in this man, standing in front of him, realizing things that most probably could have been prevented if he was more attentive and not so stuck up on his own selfish feelings.

-“What did you do to make him flee, Hoseok?” asked Sungjoo as he crossed his arms.

-Calling me by my real name, huh?!

-Yeah! So, do you mind sharing?

-I might or might not had dug up his profile.

-So? It’s no secret, anyone can look him up.

-No, not the altered one. You know his one is half fabricated.

Something clicks in Sungjoo’s mind. 

-“Right, I forgot. Well, Hoseok, I am not a great advisor in matters of the heart but I might know why Hyungwon felt huffy seeing you looking for an opportunity to manipulate him. You know what I mean, right? I don’t understand why he vanished though. Oh well, let’s pray he is still in Russia and will be found soon…or else ‘he patted on Wonho’s shoulder while heading towards the exit’ …or else I will make sure your life is one spectacular living hell, my dear friend. You know I hold grudges.” He smirked as he disappeared behind the corner.

Wonho looked at the wall for a minute, mind completely blank. He came into sense only when heard someone getting out of the elevator, it was a local “lackey”. He looked at him for second before coming towards him

-If Sungjoo will look for me tell him I went to look for answers.

-Y-yes, Wonho-ssi.

Wonho gave a small bow and half disgusted look as he entered the elevator.

Twenty minutes later he was knocking on a door of a flat, where a long time ago he was a frequent guest. He waited impatiently, hands in his pockets as he was nervously swaying from side to side. He was contemplating who would be the least evil out of the group. “Well, shit”, he thought as he saw Changkyun opening the door. This is not my lucky day, “I got myself a dark horse,” he thought as he smiled faintly and said

-Hey, I would like to talk. Do you mind?

Changkyun gave him a dead stare. He stared at him for a while before saying anything.

-You have no slightest idea how much I want to hear your neck snap at the moment. But yes, you can come in since your filthy self decided to appear on your own.

“Filthy”, copied Wonho. This kid has one nasty mouth.

-“You aren’t a guest here anymore. I won’t offer you anything. So spill it and get the hell out of here”, said Changkyun as he stood near the window, leaning against the wall, crossing his arms on his chest and finally gazing somewhere outside.

-"Do you know where Hyungwon is? Department is looking for him. He will get in trouble if he doesn’t show up soon." Wonho said in an uncomfortable manner.

\- He won’t get in trouble because he isn’t coming back.

-What do you mean?

-“There is no double meaning behind it. He left, abandoned all of us and disappeared. And why do I have a feeling…? No, why do I know you were a god damn reason behind it?” said Changkyun as he looked at Wonho for quick second shooting daggers.

Wonho laughed out loud. He was trying to get Hyungwon’s attention for months that turned into years and here he thought, he might finally cut the ties but it seems the universe has planned something different for him. In the last two days, his name came up more than nights of healthy sleep he has had in the past year. 

-“I am honored you think I hold so much power over Hyungwon but I think you misunderstand. I don’t think he left because he was upset with me. It would be stupid. You sure he didn’t get tired of your lovely gang of stray kids?” said Wonho in a mocking way. He himself was disgusted by the way of his talking but he couldn’t stop himself.

Changkyun turned to look at Wonho again; he was playing with his fingers. 

-Are you for real? Are you that dumb? Let me ask you, why were you snooping for all the info considering Hyungwon?

Wonho looked up in surprise.

-Did he tell you?

-“No, it’s just that you’re dumb and you had the nerve go looking around MY circle of people. Must be tough being you,” Changkyung said bitterly.

-“Let me tell you this, pretty boy. I’ve been watching you for years and you must be aware yourself that no one truly liked you except Hyungwon and maybe Minhyuk, right? It’s not that you ever tried to blend in with us in the first place. I let you off the hook because I thought you will take good care of Hyungwon. I should have stopped this circus as soon as you made him an FBI underdog. What was the reason behind all this searching? Were you planning on using him somewhere else? I am not surprised he would want to cut all the ties. You cops are even worse than the mafia. I bet unless he will be found all of you, rats, will come after us.” Changkyun was talking fast.

Wonho tried to interrupt a couple of time but was glared at; he decided it is better to listen to the whole monologue first.

\- “He didn’t leave because he was tired of us, smartass,” he said tonelessly. “He left because you left him no choice. How does it feel to know you are the reason for casting out the guy you tried to get back together with so desperately for the last year? Not that I agree with Hyungwon’s actions, I am pretty sure your funeral would be held one day later after Kihyun’s if it was up to me, but I guess that’s how feelings work. However, why did it have to be YOU, of all people,” Changkyun turned to look at Wonho, eyes full of disgust and loathing.

Wonho got chills down his spine.

-“Say, Wonho. Tell me at least one reason why I shouldn’t kill you right here right now? After all, you did come of your own accord,” Changkyun said as he started to move towards the couch where Wonho started to fidget. 

-Nervous, huh? You should, oh how I wish to make it happen. Not sure though, what do you think Hyungwon would feel like if I told him his ex was killed by me? Will he feel relieved? Relieved I finished what he was dreaming of for so long? His long-awaited revenge, or in my case justice finally took place? Or is it that he will feel dejected and hate me for taking a life of his once special someone?” Changkyun looked dead serious, Wonho started to regret he didn’t bring a gun with himself

-Chang…

-“Don’t worry; I won’t kill you…today.” He said as he turned away, Wonho could see him biting nails.

-Get out! I’ve said enough, you can do whatever you want with this info. 

-But do you know where he is right now?

-Not yet, but when I do you won’t get to hear it. This conversation was my one and only gift to you. Now scram before I change my mind.

To be continued...


	3. Flashback

~ Ten years ago~ 

It was a cold November night. The weather has been merciless recently, it was raining over the past week, the wind was bone-chilling, the sky is murky and Wonho knows it might rain any moment. 

Wonho was standing in the middle of the Hangang Bridge, looking somewhere far away. He was standing for a pretty long time, mind completely blank, his hands holding the rail, rocking his body slowly back and forth. 

“What am I waiting for?” he thought to himself. 

Wonho was 17 at the time; he had a habit of running away from the orphanage from time to time. He himself wasn’t sure what for. There was this fixated idea he held deep inside his mind, nevertheless, he could never fulfil it. At least until he happens to be on the Hangang Bridge, then the idea seems to be more realistic than ever. However, in the end, the fear always takes over him.

“Maybe today is the day,” another thought crossed Wonho’s mind.

Wonho grew up in the orphanage; the place isn’t as bad as one might think. All the nannies treated the kids as their own. Wonho was not an exception, he was loved, but it didn’t stop him from feeling miserable. He didn’t want to admit it to himself but he was depressed. Since he was a kid, autumns and winters were the worst. He didn’t have energy and everything was losing its colour. One word:–lethargy. He had his ups and downs, and today was one of his downs. 

Wonho looked up at the sky; small drops of rain fell on his face. He closed his eyes and let the rain damp his hair when abrupt flows of wind made him shiver. 

He pushed his damp hair back sighed and grabbed on the railing but stopped before he could push his body over it, someone tapped on his shoulder. Wonho jumped back and stared at the stranger.

It was a guy, probably younger than he is. A stranger was at least one head taller than he is, very attractive but relatively thin. 

There were three things about him that intrigued Wonho:

1.His hair was pink;

2.He wasn’t dressed for the weather, all he wore was a blue & yellow chequered shirt and white tee underneath. 

3.His eyes were completely blank. The way he looked at him made Wonho question a lot of things.

Wonho was staring at stranger’s wet hair slowly dripping down on his shoulders but what surprised him, the other one showed no signs of being cold. 

-“What were you planning to do?” Stranger broke the silence.

-“Nothing,” Wonho replied looking directly at the guy.

A stranger leaned a little bit over the railing to look at the flow down below. After a couple of seconds he turned around and stood against it pointing to his right across the bridge.

-“I was walking on the other side when I noticed you,” he said pointing his finger.

-“You piqued my interest so I was watching you for a while” he calmly continued.

-“You’ve been frozen for a long time, what did you think about?” A stranger turned to look straight at Wonho’s eyes.

Wonho was at a loss of words, he didn’t know what the other guy wanted him to say. 

-“Nothing,” he finally managed while turning away to look somewhere behind the horizon.

-“Hmm...Honestly speaking I am not sure it gives a 100% guarantee.” A stranger said while looking up at the sky.

-What are you talking about?

-What do you think?

-I am not sure.

-“Well, what I am saying is that why didn’t you choose a higher bridge if you plan to jump off? And what I am implying behind it, is that maybe both of us can try it out,” a stranger said calmly facing the sky, eyes closed. 

The words made Wonho automatically look at the guy, mouth opened, utterly surprised. 

-“Are you crazy or something? Are you asking me to die together?” he mumbled.

-“And what if I am?!” stranger’s tone was calm. 

-“Look, I don’t know what you’re up to but it’s late and you’re still a minor. Maybe you should go home,” Wonho said as he put his hands in the pockets.

-“...and aren’t you cold?” he added.

There was no response. He stayed still for a moment scrutinising a stranger. There was something about him that made Wonho interested, but on the other hand he hasn't been in his best condition himself. He wasn’t happy he appeared out of the blue.

-“You should go home,” a stranger said calmly “It’s getting late.”

-“Y-yeah, you too.” Wonho said as he let a loud sigh. 

He turned around and started to slowly walk away. Wonho was cold and he had no idea why the other guy could calmly stand there only in his shirt. The further he walked away, the more anxious he became. “What was that about? Who holds these kinds of conversations with strangers?” he thought to himself. He looked back to see the guy standing still: same spot, staring down. Wonho turned forward and it made him even more anxious, after another 40 steps he turned to look at the stranger again but he wasn’t there anymore. No, he didn’t turn back or crossed the bridge, he was standing on the other side of the railing. Wonho ran back to where the boy was hanging towards the vast river, one hand holding on the rail.

-“What are you doing?” Wonho asked screaming, out of breath.

-“You should go home, stranger.” The other guy said while tilting his head at Wonho’s direction but not looking at him. “There is nothing to do for you here.”

-Are you crazy? What? Do you want me to watch you die? Or even better, go home and read in the news that someone jumped off the bridge the next day? You said so yourself, the probability isn’t high enough.

-“Yeah, but in these kinds of the situations it all depends on the angle of the fall,” a stranger said to himself. 

Wonho started to worry, his palms were sweaty and his insides started to shake.

-Look, I don’t know what kind of problems you have but we can talk, ok? I will listen, just come to this side.

-“Says the person who wanted to do the same half an hour ago,” the guy said chuckling.

-“You don’t understand, I’ve been numerous times here. Maybe I think about it, but never actually thought of doing it. I come here to clear my mind.” Wonho said carefully.

There was no response.

-Do you hear me?

-Look, it has nothing to do with you. Just go home and let me be. 

-“Do you want me to feel guilty my whole life, for you, someone whose name I don’t even know? You aren’t cruel only to your parents by doing this, but also to me.” Wonho said sighing.

The words made stranger look at Wonho, he locked his eyes with him for a long time. His glare made Wonho uncomfortable but then it turned into something sad. For a second Wonho thought it would be better if he just glared at him.

-“Yeah”, he laughed “You’re right, It would be rude of me. That’s why I advise you to go home and think it never happened. Both of us went home and that’s where it ended.” The stranger said turning back, losing his grip a little. 

Wonho pushed himself over the railing grabbing the stranger’s left hand tightly.

-“What the hell are you doing?” The other guy yelled. “It’s not that I want you to be traumatized. Don’t worry, I won’t let you witness it.” He tried to yank his hand away. 

-“You really are crazy if you thought I would let you do it after I leave,” Wonho said while pulling his hand in his direction. “You might be taller than me but it won’t be a problem to pull you inside,” Wonho said still pulling. “So? Will you do it yourself or should I help you?” said Wonho faintly smiling.

He could see the stranger biting his lip for a second and nodding in the end. 

-Are you sure? You won’t try to trick me?

-“Yes, I am not that cruel to make you see it. I can always do it tomorrow,” voiced the stranger yanking his hand off Wonho’s grip.

-“Right...,” said Wonho disappointed.

He jumped back on the ground and in a couple of seconds he could see the stranger leaping on the asphalt. He harshly sighed as he pulled his hair back eyes on the ground. Wonho took both of stranger’s hands in his “Look at me.” The other guy looked at him, face white as a chalk, eyes slow and empty. 

-I won’t apologize.

-“I don’t want you to.” Wonho answered while hugging a stranger with all his might, squishing his thin body between his arms.

-“What are you doing?” Stranger’s voice was calm and nonchalant.

Wonho was tightening the grip until the other guy yelped quietly. 

-“What’s your name?” Wonho asked still hugging the stranger.

-“Why? And can you please let me go?” The stranger said while shifting his body.

-Tell me your name first.

-Why?

-Just because.

-Hyungwon.

-“Nice to meet you, Hyungwon. My name is Hoseok but friends call me Wonho.” Wonho smiled as he let Hyungwon go and shaked his hand.  
Hyungwon moved his gaze from Wonho to his hand back and forth. 

-“Ok, I get it. Maybe it’s enough.” Hyungwon said quietly as he pulled the hand away. 

He bit his lip as he was looking at the ground. After not finding the right words he turned around and started to walk away while half turning and whispering “bye” and then looking forward again and slowly but steadily increasing the distance between them.

Wonho stood frozen for a second before yelling

-Hey!

There was no response but Hyungwon stopped, he silently turned to look straight at Wonho.

-Where are you going?

-“Home,” Hyungwon said hardly audibly. 

-“I am going with you,” Wonho said loudly while keeping up with Hyungwon.

To be continued...


End file.
